If you're not sure where you're at in your recovery, this simple tool might help you locate yourself — and understand what kind of support you need right now.
A tool I've used as a gauge for recovery is the concept of a traffic light. My recovery is always in one of three states. One of these descriptions might relate most to where you are right now.
Green — Flowing
Relationships
My personal relationships feel balanced. I'm not too dependent on anyone, nor do I isolate. I get vulnerable, I help others. I respond to people rather than react.
Myself
I am an observer of myself — my responses, my emotions, my relationships. I make time to nurture my mental, physical and spiritual self. I am present.
Food & Body
I am eating in a way that feels natural, without fear or shame. I don't compare myself to others or feel rigid around food. I feel comfortable and at ease in my body.
What helps here: Keep maintaining recovery by staying connected — to others, to yourself, to your spiritual life. Take it day by day and practise gratitude for how far you've come.
Yellow — Watchful
Relationships
I've begun feeling scared. I'm less inclined to speak openly and honestly. I keep my fears locked inside my head. No one would know how I'm really doing.
Myself
I'm not prioritising my basic needs. There's a strange, unexplainable internal pressure building. I overcommit myself to tasks and events. I am not present.
Food & Body
I've started going out of balance. I'm feeling the pull to use food or exercise to manage what feels unmanageable in other areas of life.
What helps here: Get open and honest with someone who can support you. Get back to basics — let go of anything unnecessary so you can recollect and realign. What you're experiencing is normal. You don't have to fear feeling a little out of balance.
Red — Seeking support
Relationships
I'm struggling to be honest with those closest to me. I react impulsively. I feel victimised, and I'm basing my worth on what others say or think of me.
Myself
I'm in a negative spiral and feeling powerless to do anything about it. I'm not making time for rest, stillness, or reflection.
Food & Body
My relationship with food has become the focal point of my daily life, making it difficult to tend to other important areas — relationships, work, sleep, connection.
What helps here: Remember that your recovery is your choice. Make the decision to start moving toward support again, and hold onto it. Stop overthinking, and just breathe. This illness is complex — mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional — and you need support across all of these to find your way back. Let go of judgement. Forgive yourself for being in this space. Reach out to people who can help. It is not shameful to ask for help. You are not a bad person for being here. You did not ask for this. You can move through it — from exactly where you are.
Remember that traffic lights change. It may seem like the red light is staying on forever, but the green will come. And yes, the yellow might come again, and so might the red. But then the green will come again. And eventually, with time and support, the green becomes the light that dominates your daily life.
If you or someone you love is struggling and needs support, please don't hesitate to get in touch. I am always happy to help or point you in the right direction.
With love and light,
Kirsten